In which I get schooled by the truly weird.
From: talkingcrow
To: dae, unclevinny, geogeek
it has been very quiet from you kids lately. i miss the inane banter. ;-)
From: dae
To: talkingcrow, unclevinny, geogeek
Many people find an undercoat of primer helps with even coverage oftheir chosen color paint.
From: unclevinny
To: talkingcrow, dae, geogeek
So anyway, I told her that I didn't find the jokes about my divorce as funny as they used to be, and just because I'm losing my hair a little doesn't mean I'm necessarily past my prime. I mean I don't want to get all Judge Wapner or anything, but I will if I have to. Two can play at that game, and I don't mean Jenga. It's easily 14 to 16 hours a week to keep the lawn in fighting condition and I don't get the shittiest "thank you" for it, not a goddam thing, not that I deserve a medal but it would help if she'd scream just a little less... just screaming screaming every day, like everything is a huge crisis well it's NOT a crisis, but it will be especially if we can't afford to get the edger fixed and another 40-pound fertilizer bag. That's a crisis my friend, like she couldn't even imagine. But nooo, it's all "global warming" this and "climate crisis" that, and "oh, why don't we just edge it by hand" as if that's going to get us back on the cover of Homes and Gardens, well it WON'T, I've been through that fairy tale with my last two wives/gardeners, and I'm not going there again!!!! It's back to diagonal cutting regimens, hand-aeration and a lot more attentiveness with the tweezers -- yeah, like that's going to happen! -- just the BASICS, we've completely fallen down on Lawn Care 101, fuckit, and I get a face full of screaming if I try to raise the standards one fucking IOTA, let alone getting us back into regionals (or state, which is where we belong). But anyway, I'm fucking sick of it, and if this thing falls apart you can damn well take it to the bank that I'm taking the dogs with me, no way am I
shit cops are here more later
From:geogeek
To: talkingcrow, dae, unclevinny
so there's this guy right? he's my neighbor on the other side of the driveway. yeah that one--the bald fuck that's always out in his lawn wearing that greasy wifebeater. I swear to jesus he's out there every fucking time you come over, isn't he? yeah well I'd probably be out in my lawn all day and night if I was married to what he has to put up with. yeah, no shit. well, see, I found out something about him. found out when the cops showed up last night and started banging on his door. turn's out that mr fucking chem-lawn hasn't been keeping up with the payments to his first marital mistake. no shit. also turns out that the current mrs chemlawn didn't ever know about #1 or #2. cops didn't tell me that part, of course. shit, you could hear her goddamn shouting all the way down to frank's place. i swear to jesus, frank calls me up and says, he says, what the fuck is all that noise? he thought it was my old lady on my ass again about not cleaning the fucking garage or something.
From: talkingcrow
To: dae, unclevinny, geogeek
I love you guys. Seriously. I am devoted.