Apologia
Since he doesn't have his own damn site any more, I asked Vince to let me publish the following bit of silliness here.
In response to this editorial by National Geographic where they apologize for letting a photographer scam them, Vince wrote:
In an email sent August 7, 2003, I related a story about a Third Reich sewing circle in Renton run by former Boeing engineers.To my profound disappointment, I have learned that I was misled by my bookie and that three of the details which I emphatically and excitedly relayed were not faithful to the situation.
In the third paragraph, I stated that aeronautical engineers are carrying "a number 19 needle formed from eyeglasses worn by the Führer." Soon after the email was sent, several of you pointed out that there is a faint and unacceptably low probability that 30’s era eyeglasses were thick enough to be made into a 44 mm diameter needle —which I failed to notice before publishing the story. I now know that the needle originates in the Boeing Department of Upholstery, and is of recent manufacture. When I asked bookie “Punch” Froomkin to explain, he admitted that he himself had suggested the story to the engineers after drinking heavily with them at a local sports bar.
This was in direct contrast to what Froomkin had repeatedly assured me while I was preparing the email. As part of my rigorous internal system of checks and balances, I routinely obtain independent verification of the circumstances in which a claim of neo-Nazi embroidery or stitching-related activity is made. In very few instances, I am unable to do so. This story was one of those cases, and I mailed it knowing that I was relying heavily on Punch’s account.
In light of his disturbing admission about the needle, I immediately launched an investigation into the other elements of the story and determined that the last two paragraphs—in which a whimsically anacreontic poem links the electoral success of South Side attorney Rob McKenna to the resurrection of a whites-only sidewalk policy in the state of Washington—were actually invented out of whole cloth several weeks earlier by “Punch” and are not attributable to the former engineers.
By sending this email, I failed my friends and gave succor to my foes. I am currently reviewing my internal procedures to do my best to ensure that this type of mistake does not happen again. In addition, I am re-examining the only other story sourced to Mr. Froomkin ("Great Balls of Fire! Who’re Firefighters Balling These Days?," May 1997); to date it appears that all aspects of the story are accurate.
I apologize to my readers.
Vince Houmes
Editor in Chief
09.13.04
Uncle Vinny, on Thursday, September 16, 2004 at 1:27 PM:
It's a common mistake. "Uncle Vinnie" is a species related but not identical to the "Uncle Vinny" under discussion. The -IE lifeform is far more likely to be found in Motorhead or mafioso ecosystems; the -Y is more easily startled, and is less prone to pilosis of the torso.