The feeding habits of the felis domesticus

Dear cat behaviorist type person,

I'm writing to you to ask about a, well, a problem we're having with one of our cats.

Edgar has always been a normal cat, at least relative to other cats. He's a little mercurial, of course, and has a bit of a habit of licking himself bare, but nothing really outlandish.

Lately, however, he's developed a bit of a taste for, well, bread.

Specifically, twice now he's wrestled part of a loaf of bread (in a plastic bag) out of the bowl we keep bread in, off the counter, down the length of the kitchen, and down the stairs to the basement, where we found both loaves.

The first loaf made it look like it was more of a plaything, but with the second one he's actually chewed a hole in the corner and eaten some of the bread.

What makes it worse, of course, is that he's supposed to be on Atkins, and so not only do we have to scold him about playing with the bread, but we have to lecture him about carbs as well.

What are we to do? Clearly part of the answer is to hide our bread away. But what's next? Will we find the toaster at the foot of the basement stairs, after a futile attempt to heat some toaster waffles?

Thanks in advance for any advice you can give us.