The dozens
Posted by David on Monday, May 5, 2003 at 11:42 AM.
Inspired by Friday's Boondocks cartoon, I tracked down this extensive article on playing the dozens.
What are the dozens? From the page, above:
"Snaps" carry references to one's relatives, especially one's mother. The expression "Playing The Dozens" means to taunt another person by taunting, kidding, "jiving," teasing or insulting their family--in essence, to use "snaps." This "gaming" has deep roots in the humor, personality, and social relationships of Black Americans.
And, naturally, a few examples:
You're so stupid, it takes you an hour to cook Minute rice.You're so dumb, you failed Romper Room.
Your mother is so fat, she broke her arm and gravy poured out.
Your breath smells so bad, people on the phone hang up.
Your mother is so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
Your car is so old, they stole the Club and left the car.
If you'd like to read some older examples of this kind of wordplay, I recommend Zora Neale Hurston's Mules and Men, a collection of African-American folk tales and other folklore she gathered in the 1930's.
rfkj, on Monday, May 5, 2003 at 12:49 PM:
I've always had a soft spot for:
"A long double is insufficient to express the weight of your mom."
and
"Your mom is like HTML: a tiny and a whole lot of ."
and the more traditional
"Your mom is so dumb she got hit by a parked car."
Alex Ortiz, on Friday, September 5, 2003 at 12:30 PM:
yo mamma's so fat even her car has stretch marks.
David Adam Edelstein, on Friday, September 5, 2003 at 2:09 PM:
Nice one!
David Adam Edelstein, on Wednesday, January 14, 2004 at 3:46 PM:
I heard this one while we were on vacation:
"Your mama so ugly, tears roll down her back because they afraid of her face!"